So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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