speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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