Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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