Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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