; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
