I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
her vagine was all disorganized.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
