I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
