i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize