Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this will be a night to untag.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
