when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
