You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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