Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
