There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jรคger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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