The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
