ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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