Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Randomize
