4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm both gender and math confused
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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