Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
