belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
