she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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