But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
