i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
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So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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