I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just gift wrapped bread.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
