Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
