Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
