I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it's like iHOP with fire
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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