I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
