We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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