I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
