the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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