I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
