So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
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I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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