I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
