We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
