Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
