Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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