Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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