Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I could fuck to npr.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
