i permit you to call me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
