Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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