Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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