Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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