I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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