OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
