My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
