If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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