on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
