If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
