What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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