margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
