Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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