And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
