if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
