Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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