So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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