Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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