Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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