my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize