I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
