Non-Jews are for practice
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
