if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
