Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
