I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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