you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize