Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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