I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
