I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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