My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
