you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
